Hiyoshi Hiyoshi!
by Ickiakki
Summary: Cracktastic fic, Hyotei centric. Includes Seagull!Fuji


**Ickiakki**- This is what you come up with on New Year's Eve in Vegas with a friend. DO NOT ATTEMPT.

**Sidenote**: Alright, alright, well... I dun wanna spoil it for you! xP I just want you all to know that Tezuka, Fuji, Oishi, Eiji, and Inui are all in this. Although this is a Hyotei-centric fic, I'm sure you'd enjoy it despite the fact that it's about Hiyoshi. Y'know why I picked Hiyoshi? To be honest, I really don't care about the guy, and that's exactly why I picked him. I'm like, "Oh, wait! Nobody ever cares about Hiyoshi! I shall write something about him..."

Next things you know, I'm in the buffet in Vegas singing (and dancing, it's better with that) "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Hiyoshi! Hiyoshi"  
--

"Oh, what a beautiful day!" exclaimed Hyotei's Hiyoshi Wakashi in glee.

Now, our lovable benchwarmer had just reached a place where he could be alone, in joyful solitude. His destination- Floofy Meadows. Despite the odd name, the most frightening thing about this event was not the scene, which included furry woodland creatures, pink flowers, and beautiful, sparkling ponds, was Hiyoshi's choice of attire. For you see, his choice of clothing included a pink, frilly, sweet-lolita style dress and a set of matching ribbons, adorning his hair, which was too short to pull of the pigtails look.

"At last, I can be free-"

"Oi! Hiyoshi! Wrong story!" a familiar, orange-haired boy called out, arms flailing. "You're not Alice in Wonderland, here. Get out! This is my meadow!"

"Your meadow, Sengoku?" a more ominous voice echoed, coming from Akutsu, Yamabuki's silver-haired demon.

"Please don't fight, desu! It's not right, desu!" a shorter, cuter, and altogether more desirable, young boy attempted to stop the fighting. However, after seeing Hiyoshi, he paused for a moment, tilting his head. "Who're you, desu? If you're looking for the psychiatrics ward, it's that way," the dark-haired child motioned towards a dangerous-looking path on the left.

Now, the youngest of the four received an odd look.

"Then who's meadow is it?" Hiyoshi questioned, anxiously.

"Ours!" Dan chirped, motioning to his older companions, then pointing to himself.

Now, the Hyotei tennis non-regular paid close attention to the 'uniforms' the three Yamabuki boys were wearing. Of course, they were all green, but there was something odd about those funny-looking hats, four-leafed clovers, and pots full of gold... Suddenly, it all clicked.

"Oh! I remember now, this is the Luck of the Irish! A leprauchan show!" he remembered.

"Yup!" Dan chirped, happily. "And we're the main characters!"

"That's enough!" Akutsu roared. "We don't need people to know that I'm here..."

"Or the fact that all of us Yamabuki students are really leprauchans, not just acting like ones!" Sengoku hissed. "Away with you, traitor!" he pointed an accusating finger towards Hiyoshi.

"Oh, no! I would never betray your secret!" the brunette gasped, offended.

Sighs of relief could be heard from each of the members of the Yamabuki trio.

"Hey, but can I join you guys? I've got green, too-"

"No," the older two answered in unison.

"You must be of the leprauchan blood to join this brotherhood!" Sengoku gasped. "How dare you attempt to taint us, fiend!"

"Enough with the accusating language, Sengoku-senpai," Dan said softly. "I'm sure Wakashi-san feels very disturbed, at the moment."

"He should be," Akutsu gave the Hyotei member another odd look. "This is family tradition, man. Dude, you do not want to be in this position-"

And here, our 'luckiest' leprauchan gasped. "How dare you insult our heritage! You should be proud of being a leprauchan!"

"That's right! It's an honor, desu!" the shortest of the three chirped.

(insert touching, brotherly leprechaun moment between Dan and Sengoku here.)

"Hey, wait, aren't we forgetting something?" Hiyoshi asked, oh-so-sweetly.

"What?" the three barked in their own little ways, again in unison.

"Me!"

"Go home, Hiyoshi," the leprauchan trio echoed in disgust.

-  
"Oi! Hiyoshi!" a tall, arrogant young man called from across the field.

"Coming, your highness," Hiyoshi said, bitterly.

It was the next day, at Hyotei Gakuen, during tennis practice, and poor Hiyoshi was being forced to fetch balls, while Atobe just stood there looking pretty. After tossing the ball to his captain, Hiyoshi gaped at the number of girls at today's practice. They couldn't all be Atobe fangirls, now... Could they?

And, all the 'king' needed to do was smile, and bounch the ball.

(insert Atobe fangirls/boys screaming/cheering here.)

"Not all of them are squealing, though!" Hiyoshi said hopefully. "Maybe some are here for me..?"

And, after the Hyotei captain issued his serve, the rest of the crowd cheered for the one who returned the ball- Oshitari Yuushi.

"We love you, Megane-sama!" they cheered, only to receive an odd glare from Oshitari.

"You've got some weird admirers, Yuushi," Gakuto winced.

"I don't know if I should be happy, or utterly disgusted," the tensai said with hesitation.

"Be proud," Atobe smiled at his friend. "You're finally a pimp, like myself, now! Ore-sama is proud of you!"

And here, the dark-haired boy's "WTF?!" face was photographed by one of his fangirls, and sold on ebay for 50 million dollars the following morning.

As many of the remaining females went to oogle at their favorites, one remained.

"At least, one girl came to see me!" Hiyoshi smiled.

"Kabaji-sama!" she squealed, after having a glimpse of the tallest of the Hyotei regulars. She firmly attached onto his arm, after bowling over Hiyoshi like a bulldozer. "I just love, silent, stoic stereotypes!" she chirped.

Poor Hiyoshi ran off to cry, sob, and sulk in a corner. During practice, he got hit with Jirou's racket, and was forced to go home and 'rest.'

"My life sucks!" the wimp whined. "I'm gonna go home and slit my wrists, and then maybe I'll get some attention!"

Then, he considered the changes in appearance that came with being emo- Black hair, black clothes, loud music, and... Eyeliner! That last option made him shiver. Yep, he definitely threw that idea out. That was quite surprising, especially since he had worn dresses several times before. (see previous escapade)

It was getting awfully dark out, and our exasperated hero stopped to cry out in anguish in front of a comic book store. There was a single, but bright, star shining brightly in the night sky.

"Oh!" Hiyoshi gasped, his eyes filling with tears. "For just once, I wish I could be noticed for once! The main character, the one with the most attention, most fans... Please!"

Unfortunately for him, a certain Inui Sadaharu's ears perked up. He had been reading volume 10 of his favorite series, Eyeshield 21, at the bookstore. After Hiyoshi left the premises, the Seigaku benchwarmer let out an evil cackle. He had such an interesting idea...

-** Ickiakki**- I know it was short, but hey, this's a prologue. Well, let's see what's in store in the next chapter! x3 I need 10, preferably 15 reviews before I update, okay? I wanna write for people other than myself. Okay, so it kinda sucks... xD But I swear, I'll try harder next time! shoves fist into the air


End file.
